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In This Issue:
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- Hope
- Health "Mother's Day-Gift of Health"
- Humor
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Welcome to my April 2005 issue of
“Hope, Health & Humor”
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Hope:
I don’t know when it happens but it does.
Suddenly, we realize we’re turning into our mothers and I don’t
mean that to be sarcastic. It happens.
I love my mother, I do. Gosh,
she birthed me and I was number six so that must have been quite a
shock to her system.
I have a theory she gave me a difficult name
due to having had a hard time bringing me into this world. Call
me crazy but I asked her and she said I almost killed her.
I asked about two of my sisters and did she
have a hard time birthing them. She said one labor was only
an hour and the other she didn’t even feel a cramp. She just
pushed and the baby came out. Their names are Julie and
Cathy. You decide.
She told me by the time she went into labor
with me, my father knew just what to do. He went out and got
drunk. Fortunately, it only lasted for thirty nine years but
who’s counting. He’s doing great today and that’s what
matters.
Back to Mom. English is a second
language for my mother, which is still a challenge for her but a
great source of entertainment for the rest of the family.
My sister just sent an email, telling me my
mother was explaining, to her children, how the Catholic church
works. My mother is Catholic. We are not.
She explained to them that all the Cardigans
would get together and elect a new Pope.
I guess that explains the snazzy wardrobes
the Pope wears. The sweaters must have felt a need to step
it up.
My mother has a Spanish accent.
I, on normal occasions, do not.
However, one day, I was picking at a splinter
in my finger and my daughter asked me what I was doing. I
replied “I have a spleener.” and I sounded just like
my mother.
I even looked around the room to see if she
was in there. My children were laughing and saying “You
sound just like Grandma.”
I told my daughter to be careful. I
heard it gets worse as it skips to the next generation. She
may not even be able to speak English by age thirty.
My mom survived the death of her brother,
then a daughter and her father. She moved away from her home
state and raised five daughters. She survived a divorce and
became self supporting on her own.
She makes us laugh and is always the first
one to get up and dance at a party. All my friends love my
mother and her cooking.
She has baby sat and helped take care of all
of her grandchildren and takes time to play games with them.
Watch it, she cheats.
She loves people and she loves to gamble, but
most of all she loves us and we are blessed to have her in our
lives.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you
beautiful mothers!
Oh, and if you ever get to meet the Pope,
tell him my mother says “Hello.”
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Health:
The Federal government lifted the ban on
Ephedra. An herb I love for the help it gives allergy
sufferers and asthmatics.
I wrote last month on my frustration over
that ban and now we have the ban lifted. Gosh, you all are
good. What can we tackle next?
Send Mom the gift of health:
Natural Health Products
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Humor: (Mother’s Day)
My mom breast fed me. It was only 2
percent.
-Wendy Liebman
This is as mad as my mom ever got.
“Y’all quit. Don’t make me stop this car.” “Mama,
you’re not in the car. You’re in the hammock with a jelly
jar full of Scotch.”
-Brett Butler
My mom wasn’t the protective type.
When my father left, she told us kids, “Don’t think this just had
to do with me. You’re father left all of us.”
-Caroline Rhea
© Copyright
Elodia Tate, 2004-2005
